The D-Double-T

Yes! Yes, my friends, your eyes do not deceive you. I have achieved that pinnacle of human ambition, that garment of dream and legend, the dragon-tiger t-shirt. Notice the careful embroidery – the dragon emblazoned across the chest – the tiger clawing its way up the arm. It perfectly embodies the old Chinese adage – and dare I say it – my own noble and ferocious character – heart of the dragon, fists of the tiger.

But do not fear me, my friends, for I pledge to use this shirt only for good. And please, please do not call me a hero. I am just a man, a man with the fucking awesomest shirt ever wrought by man or god.

EDIT: It has come to my attention that some are questioning the superiority of the D-Double-T over other, lesser shirts – specifically, the 3 wolf moon t-shirt (available in Walmart and made popular by rednecks nationwide). It is true that the 3 wolf moon t-shirt has received much praise on the internets while the dragon tiger t-shirt lingers in relative obscurity. But, trust me my doubting friends, there is no contest. Let me break it down for you.

First, it’s quite obvious that the 3WM shirt has no tiger and no dragon, just a moon and some wolves. The moon represents insanity (ok, kinda cool), love, and the hunt. The hunt involves both predator and prey, therefore the moon contains elements of fear and weakness. The dragon is all predator. It knows not fear nor weakness nor love nor pity, for it has not glands with which to regulate such emotions. What glands does it have? A fire gland. A kung-fu gland. A bad assness gland. And probably, a gland of justice!

And 3 wolves vs. a tiger? Please. For centuries, wise men have consumed the essence of the tiger for virility. As far as I know, no one intentionally consumes the essence of the wolf, and if they do, there has been no report of increased potency. Finally, the praise for 3 wolf moon is a parody, a tongue-in-cheek treatment of an obviously lesser shirt. The D double-T is the real deal.

QED.

Also, long sleeves.

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